Anxiety is Real

Normalcy
Eating at a table, little children running in circles
There’s danger I swear it
Heart pounding
Padded walls on my right and left, pressure encasing me
I need to get away
Don’t embarrass yourself
Tell them to stop talking, it’s stressing you out
Get away
Plug your ears
Clench and unclench your fists
Tingling
Hit your head over and over
Fist to temple
It’s hot in here, I can’t breathe
Wait
Tell yourself that you’re okay, nothing is happening
Stop screaming and crying, you’re OKAY
TELL YOURSELF TO STOP
YOU’RE OKAY
“You’re the problem”
Doubt
Loss
It’s all in your head
You can fight it
I’m trying to
Try harder
Okay I will
People are dealing with worse things in the world and doing fine
Adapt and overcome
But I can’t
Don’t freak out you’re okay
You don’t understand
Irrational, yes I know
Not real, yes I know
Worse things out there, yes I know
Tell yourself you don’t have it, it’s in your head…
Don’t let them know

Future Vocabulary

Diamonds slid onto thin young familar fingers
New spaces occupied in different towns and cities with young names on leases
Big jobs doing what they love
New travels and videos of places visited, leaving a mark
Engaged
Fiancé
Married
Salary
Apartment
Work
Stability
Independence
New life vocabulary thrown into my face of friends once known now moving forward
Progression of starting life
And here I still am
Dreams
Goals
and ambitions
Just ideas in my head mumbled to strangers in hope of it becoming reality
The desire to establish
To be of one’s own
Financially stable
Happily engaged
Newly married
Moved out
Moved in

Broken Promises

She scanned the audiences
The floating black heads on the opposite end of the stage that applaud vivaciously
Each night she wiped away the remains of her face
As she looked in the mirror
Off the red lipstick
Off the blush and foundation
Unclasp the earrings
The bobby pins laid on the floor as her hair sprayed hair falls crimped and stiff on her shoulders
The one thing she asks on those that she thinks cares is their support
Her love for the art she wants to pass on
But they never show
Promises of a front row seat and best wishes
But once again she performs to a dark blank audience

You never showed…

Peroxide

9e33aea4a0419e4b36e4eafa41f14eadA cancerous wound
Spread all through my body
I’m trying to heal myself
Stitch up each side
Inch by inch
But just when it starts to scab over…
It cracks open again
You want to keep cleaning it out
Pouring hydrogen peroxide over it
Again and again
Festering and oozing
It’ll never heal if you keep opening back up again
Let me scab
Let me scar
Let me heal

She Wolf

She was a little pup
That grew into a wolf
An alpha female
That learned to bare her teeth when she smiles
She no longer cowers and runs to her den
She raises her hair and stands her ground
Growling at the given threats
Howling to the dark skies above
She’s ready to walk alone if she needs to
Her own alpha will come to her one day
He won’t try to tame her
He will run beside her
Their own wolf pack

Mr. Materialistic

Obsessed with success
You quit before you even have a chance to struggle
Always about the grind
Always working
But for what?
What do you want to succeed in?
It’s always about accomplishing something great
Conquering something or someONE
Being the greatest
Anything less you don’t even consider
Humility is not in your vocabulary
You are only dedicated to yourself
Only your terms and conditions
Never locked in
Doing things only for status and prominence
If cars and money were women you’d sleep with everyone of them
Diseased to the STD of greed
Mr. Materialistic

Savior

She fell in love with his purpose
Helping people
Saving lives
Making a difference
But he gave it up
He then felt he needed to save her
Putting it in her head that she’s in danger
He saw different facets of her
Thinking he needed to take her away from herself in order to be free
To be her own person
What he didn’t know…
He was the one that needed saving

Death to the Insane

She was insanec10c9721b8296eb3ed923f0a39f2c8b9
The definition
“Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result”
She held her fingertips to her temple
Locked herself inside of herself
and pulled the trigger
Dreams and ambitions exploding
Painting the wall behind her
A little giggle
Because there never were any walls
But her remains paint the crime scene
Of the person who used to exist

Save Me Peter

Peter Pan where are you at?
And can you tell me how to get to Neverland?
Because, nowadays pixie dust is invisible interest rates
and whispered secrets is insurance
I want to be where you are0123e51f568a88951fb50c8d805d9c4e
Where work is play
And play is actually going away
Sure, the pirates and Indians don’t always see eye to eye
But at least they don’t kill each other over and over again without a reason why
In this realm the doctors are scam artists instead of the soul healers we need that try to cure sickness with a hug and a smile
Love is selective instead of equal for all
And not even your own friend will try to help you if your farther away than a mile

Peter Pan where are you at?

I’m ready to give up because without that pixie dust I’m about to fall flat

They Are Not Your World

d771a8d2347820dbdec7b06de8cbbf51The one you love shouldn’t be your world
Otherwise you don’t own yourself and you live on them
On their terms and their rotations
Let them be your moon and stars
They match you perfectly and are always by your side
They are the atmosphere you breathe
They bring light to your dark skies
They control your tides and reel you in
They change your seasons and are there while you go through all your stages in life
Even when they are what seems like light years away
You can still see them and feel their gravitational pull to you
Like constellations they have their own special names
You point them out to everyone you meet
You talk about them and tell people how they appeared in your skies
You tell others which parts of them shine the brightest and how they illuminate every part of you
They complete you
They are the shining aspect in your life making you beautiful inside and out