A Cup of Tea With Me

I was just given a lecture on my opinions on medications for conditions such as Bi-Polar and depression. In case you do not know, I am anti-medication. If you take meds for conditions like that, that is your choice. Just because I choose not to take medications that make me violently ill, or mess with my heart, does not mean that I do not think that everyone should make the choice I made. It is all about the choices we make.

When I have suffered from depression and was suicidal, I had choices to make every morning when I woke up. (Please remember that the last time I was that depressed, I was not walking with the Lord.)

1) I could put an end to my life. I so desperately wanted to do that, but who would it have hurt? My husband and children. That’s who! Would it have been fair to them for me to do that? NO!

2) I could lay in bed all day and wish things would go away. This was my second favorite option, but again, is it realistic? NO! I have responsibilities. I was working at the time. I needed that job to help pay bills. My children needed a mom who was up and around. They needed a mom to cook, clean, take care of them and help them with their lives and problems. For my family, this choice would have been as bad as the first one.

3) Take meds. For some this is a viable option. Not for me. They made me ill. I was hospitalized twice with them. Once because of the irregular heart beat that they gave me and the other because they made my stomach cramp so bad, that they had to run tests to make sure there was not something else wrong.

4) The option I chose then and continue to make every day I wake up feeling depressed, blue, angry or any other bad feeling that comes with the disorder. I get out of bed and live my life! I take one step at a time, and now I praise God for every step I make. I choose to live and be free of meds because it is what is best for me and my family. My boys both show signs of being bi-polar and I am teaching them to deal with it the same way.

I do not want anyone to think I am trying to tell them their choice is wrong. I am not. I am venting because a medical professional told me that I should not live my life the way I do and that it is damaging. WHAT? No, I am much more “healthy” for my choices. You see. My kids have a mom. My husband has a wife. Yes, I may be cranky, but I am here, I am working and I get things done. I am not having to wear a heart monitor. Meds are not for everyone and yes, you have a choice. You may not think you do, but you do. It is all about the choices you make and how you choose to look at your situation. You should make the best choice for yourself. No two people are alike. I made my choice and I am sticking to it.

EDIT: I decided to come back and add that if meds were a viable choice for me, I would most likely take them. They are much easier than the way I dealt with it in the past. Forcing yourself to go on when all you want to do is give up, is never easy. I am just thankful that I have the Lord to help me with this, now.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 11th, 2007 at 1:03 pm and is filed under My Journey, rant. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.