Coffee black and it’s white.
Bland noodles chewed at the dinner table.
Walking in and out of doors.
Sitting on chairs and floors.
One foot after another walking down bare hallways.
Mouths moving but no words or sounds uttered.
Faded smiles and empty lifeless hands.
Cold and throbbing.
Eyes blink away blank stares.
People walk around aimlessly with no cares.
Laughter a myth.
And love gone like 1800’s blacksmiths.
Pounding on that bright red iron.
What happened to all the color that our emotions put on?
Pull me out from inside.
Isn’t it mad without color?
Skin and bones.
Tough and sturdy.
Keeping out everything.
Nothing coming in.
Dull steady beat.
Beat. Beat. Beat.
Right before the street lights come on
This is my favorite time
The sun is almost gone and the sky looks like you can take a spoonful of it into your mouth and let it melt down your throat
Pairs of red in front
And no lights behind to blind you as you look back
Like a reminder to keep looking forward to the future and your destination
Foot to the floor on the accelerator
Don’t slow me down
Don’t tell me what to do
Faster faster faster
Into the darkness as the lights turn on behind me
Too much light
Racing them like they will consume me if I don’t speed up
Don’t let them get you
One of my missions,
Music is one way out.
But that song…
Brings up too much.
I skip it everyday but today I let it play.
I have the option.
Sink or swim?
If I swim then I’m alone.
If I let myself sink then I’ll be accompanied by the silent shadows of the dark.
It’s darker down there.
Swimming to the shore will only bring problems.
I’ll have to watch other people be happy and live their lives.
I start to swim to the shore but I give up.
But I can’t hold my breath long enough to stay under and visit the darkness.
I can’t keep bobbing up and down.
So I’m making a permanent decision.
Open my mouth.
Let the water come in and fill my lungs to bring me under to the darkness.
It’s warm and welcoming down there.
The water engulfs me and my tears can’t be seen.
My screams are just a dull noise under the surface in the deep.
Lost in the waves above me.
No longer there.
No need to breathe.
Here with my shadows and the pain.
It’s a beautiful tragedy.