Sympathy for the Recovering Alcoholic

Some may have experienced what it was like growing up or living with an alcoholic. It isn’t always a fun situation to be in or an exciting life to live, but it was a happy day when the alcoholic in your life decided to become sober.

Whether it was just quitting, joining a 12 step program or a group like AA, it was interesting to see their recovery. It seemed painful, but in the end, years or months later, there was a difference and you felt glad for your loved one and their new sobriety.

I recently discovered what it was like to sympathize with a recovering alcoholic. As people may know, once an alcoholic relapses, it is very hard to find sobriety again. Living sober without temptation is next to impossible. For whatever reason the individual decided to stop drinking, there will always be a trigger of some sort to encourage the ache to pick up their drink of choice and take a sip again.

Just as a note, I am not an alcoholic nor have I ever been an excessive drinker. I do enjoy the occasional glass of wine, bottle of beer or glass of bourbon, but I can go without drinking and be completely okay. I would only really have a drink or two (max) when I wanted to unwind after a long day, go out with my best friend at a restaurant to try new food or have a social drink at a gathering/ event.

But here is what happened.

Just recently I started taking a medication that said I shouldn’t do two things, 1) eat grapefruit (weird I know) and 2) drink alcohol while taking the medication. Not a fan of grapefruit anyways, I figured not drinking would be just as easy. But I had a big event come up. The ballet company I dance with had our show at one of the big performing arts centers in down town West Palm Beach, Florida and there was an after party on the night of the second show to celebrate our accomplishments of selling out the performance and as a little shin-dig to thank us for our hard work. The only issue was… everyone was drinking.

It seems that when you can’t do something, it makes you want to do it even more. As I mentioned already, I was only an occasional, social drinker anyways and I would have really liked to celebrate with my fellow dancers. I decided to drink Sprite the whole night in a fancy cup to at least feel a part of the celebration, (Sprite can look like Vodka in a glass cup) but I did feel a little ache to have a glass of wine with my fellow dancers. As I watched everyone dance to the background music, laugh and giggle, I almost felt left out. It made me think that this was what a recovering and sober alcoholic must feel like when they experience one of their triggers. Although I was able to successfully make it through the night, it still wasn’t easy.

The hardest part was when at the end of the night the whole ballet company decided to do a shot together as a group. I told them I would pass and just sat on the little couch next to the bar while everyone had a shot glass filled. I even distracted myself while looking down at my phone so I wouldn’t feel like the odd one out. The difficult part was when I was technically peer pressured. Now, I didn’t want to tell the details of why I stopped drinking suddenly (because of my new medication), so I just decided to tell everyone I just wanted to quit drinking for a while. As I sat on my little sofa, I was pressured a few times that “it was just a shot” and “come on, it won’t hurt ya. Of course it wouldn’t hurt me. I know that I can handle one shot and I wasn’t an alcoholic, but I knew that it was best to not drink at all.

After some smiles and saying “no it’s okay,” one of the dancers asked if I would do a shot of seltzer water with them so I wouldn’t feel left out and I agreed. I did feel a little funny about it though and dipped my pinky in it to taste first, but in the end I still felt like part of the company and I got to enjoy the night without waking up with a hangover like some other people might have. Turns out, no one really knew I wasn’t drinking in the first place because they saw a glass in my hand all night and figured it was a cocktail of some sort (my trick worked).

All in all, I can now sympathize with sober or recovering alcoholics. When there is a trigger or when you want to fit in, it isn’t easy to say no. Eventually I will come off my medication and will treat myself to a glass of wine with a friend or while I’m cooking for myself at home listening to some tunes. But for now I will be sober. All I can say now though is to keep up the fight to say no. It is easy to pick up a glass and take a little sip, but standing firm in your reasons to stop drinking, even if for temporary reasons, will make you an even stronger person and keep you in control of the person you want to be.