Doing Nothing is the Absolute Best Thing

A little follow up on an article I have written previously about toxic people, family members and letting people go.

When you cut someone out of your life, they will always try and come back. Your affection for that individual will cause you to feel guilt and want to let them back in your life.

The truth is, it is all sabotage. When they have realized that they have lost all control of you and they have been cut out, they will always try and weasel their way in again. These toxic, narcissistic people will pause from time to time and SEEM like they will stop their abuse. But in reality, these are just periods of intermittent kindness. This will cause you to become trauma-bonded with them and you will always strive to find those moments of kindness and warmth. But when they turn again, you will feel the burden that you HAVE TO put up with their abuse because they are “just having a moment” and you have to help them through it. This is actually just a façade for their continual abuse.

Yes you may love them but what you have to realize is this… someone this toxic is severely emotionally stunted and underdeveloped. Despite how mentally high functioning this toxic person seems, they actually have the emotional intelligence of an angry and irrational child.

They will never comprehend or feel sympathy for their feelings. They have an extreme lack of remorse for their mistakes and actions against you. They think only of themselves regardless of how it will effect others. They feel that they are the most important person in the world and think too highly of themselves even when it comes to making others feel sorry for them; they are that important that everyone, except them, should feel sorry for them. They have a sense of entitlement and they have an inability to apologize for what they have done and if they do there is always a “but” and a “because.” They are selfish and view themselves as the victim. And they will have outbursts of emotion, not necessarily always anger, but this is to attract attention from you and act out.

Resist the urge to communicate or respond back. They have no boundaries even if you allow them back in and under certain conditions that you create. Do not give ultimatums, do not allow even the smallest bit of a response. Sometimes doing nothing is the absolute best thing. No response at all doesn’t allow any reaction. It doesn’t allow either party to go back and forth. It doesn’t allow the abuse to get back under your skin or to seep into your mind space.

Even Pooh Bear said “doing nothing often leads to the very best something.” This very best of something is finally your freedom from the abuse and toxicity.